When children get good grades at school, do you praise them or criticise them for not doing even better?
The second story that Henry shared will enable you to reflect on this question.
Henry had always been a hardworking student, even after he transferred to a new school in primary 3. He became the dux in the new school, while Student M, who had been the dux, had come second after Henry.
Although Henry and M had been quietly competing academically, they were also good friends. M often complained that his mum ignored his effort and reproached him for not being the top student. Henry sympathised with his friend, but he was not ready to give up the fight. In the final exam of year 4, Henry continued to be the dux of the class.
This led to M being reprimanded and criticised by his mum even more. He was losing his confidence and became more reserved. While he continued to work hard in his studies, his exam results had become less satisfactory. This led to a vicious cycle. As his academic results got worse, he faced harsher criticisms. Experiencing increased psychological pressure, M performed worse in his study, leading to further rebuke from his mum.
After they entered high school, the competition grew stronger as the top students from all over the city were gathered there. Both Henry and student M had to face the new environment and the fierce competition. They had difficulties adjusting to the new environment initially, and both struggled academically. They needed more encouragement and support from their parents.
Henry’s parents guided him patiently, teaching him how to face setbacks. They told him that someone would always be better than him in all situations, and he should learn from others who were doing well. Henry worked hard and eventually became the dux of his class again.
Unfortunately, M became increasingly withdrawn and stopped interacting with other students because of his parents’ continual reprimanding and disapproval. Henry was sad to see his friend, who used to be a hardworking and well-behaved student, eventually dropping out of high school. M subsequently led a very despondent life and died of depression in his fifties.
We hope you enjoy this story and find it helpful.
