The Foundation Chairperson/Honorary Executive Director of CASS, Mr Henry Pan (known by all as Henry) shared his stories to shed light on parenting and children’s education.
Today, Henry shared his personal experience of being bullied at school.
Henry was allocated to Class 1E when he started high school. He did not know anyone in the class and felt both excited and anxious.
At the start of the school term, the class teacher had to choose a class monitor, a leadership role responsible for promoting and helping other student’s study and maintain classroom discipline, so the teacher required students who were class monitor previously to raise their hands.
Henry raised his hand without giving a second thought. He thought that many classmates would put their hands up. Yet he was the only one.
The teacher planned to pick a student from those having previous experience as a class monitor. Seeing that Henry was the only student who raised his hand, the teacher made the decision and said, “Very good. Henry Pan will be the class monitor.”
Unfortunately, the teacher’s decision had led to a year of bullying for Henry. Some bully him verbally, saying things like, “Henry always likes to be an official, now he gets what he wants.”
Some classmates intentionally acted out in class, talking and fighting to disrupt the class discipline.
Henry had always possessed a great sense of responsibility. Being the class monitor, he spent a lot of energy trying to maintain class discipline. Unfortunately, he was physically not as strong as those unruly classmates. His constant reminders were ignored and even added fuel to the fire. His classmates became even more disruptive.
The situation made Henry very upset and frustrated and therefore affected his academic performance. Moreover, Henry had changed from being a happy and positive child to very quiet and reserved. He often looked miserable, and his parents were very concerned. They asked him what was bothering him.
Henry did not want to tell his parents at the beginning. Feeling his parents’ consistent care and concern, he finally told them what was happening at school – his difficulties adjusting to the new environment and being bullied by some classmates. His parents were heartbroken to hear about the bullying and was concerned about Henry’s safety. They advised Henry to keep a distance from those bullying classmates and to avoid conflicts with them. They ensured Henry that they would always support him no matter what. When Henry later told his parents he did not want to be the class monitor anymore, his parents showed their understanding and supported his decision.
Henry chose a time and gathered his courage to tell his teacher that he did not want to be the class monitor anymore. His teacher was very surprised, as he highly appreciated Henry’s efforts and his sense of responsibility. He encouraged Henry to continue with the role. Henry backed his decision by telling his teacher about being bullied by his classmates. The teacher immediately reprimanded those unruly students, “Henry has been serving the class by being the class monitor. Instead of showing him support and understanding, you are making the class unmanageable. If you do not change your attitude, I will report to the disciplinary supervisor, and you will definitely get a demerit point.”
In fact, many classmates also saw the bullying and were not happy with it. They began to rally behind Henry. Like-minded classmates began to get together and became good friends. They studied and played sports together after school, developing common hobbies, including forming a basketball team. Henry began to enjoy his first year of high school. Being bullied gradually became a distant memory. His academic performance also began to improve.
God helps those who help themselves. At the year-end exam, Henry came fifth of the year cohort and entered the selective class in high school year 2. There were no more recalcitrant or bullying students in the class, and their class schedules were also separate. Henry’s school life had become much more pleasant.
Concluding remarks:
Bullying at school can happen to any child. Many children who have experienced bullying cannot recover from the traumatic experience. This gives the bullies power to become more unscrupulous.
When Henry encountered problems, he told his parents the truth and sought help from his teacher. At the same time, he also worked hard to get his grades up. Birds of a feather flock together, and before long, he had a group of like-minded friends. All these had helped him to build his confidence and his status, making it futile for the bullies to continue their intimidation.
When children are being bullied, parents should not reprimand them. Neither should they encourage their children to fight in case they might get hurt. As parents cannot go to school with their children, there is not much they can do. It is important that they encourage their children to seek help and pay attention to their children’s emotions. They can help their children to develop hobbies, especially sports. This will enable their children to make friends and have a purpose in life, thereby taking them out of the cycle of bullying.
